Life Doesn't Always Go as Planned

By nature, I'm a planner and organizer. I like things a certain way. It may not always be as neat and tidy as you might like, but it works for me. As as kid, I idolized my cousin and aspired to be just like her when I grew up. When she became a lawyer when I was in the 3rd or 4th grade, I made up my mind that I would do the same thing. I kept that dream until my freshman year of college. She was a political science major, so of course, I planned to major in that, too. I took a political science class and didn't fair too well. So I mulled around for a semester or two and decided to major in sociology. I stayed with sociology and added an elementary education minor. Although I didn't enter college with the mindset that I would graduate a teacher, I'm happy things didn't work out the way I had planned.



When I dreamed of being pregnant, I envisioned having that "glow" and eating pickles and ice cream while watching my belly bounce all around. Well 3 months of 24/7 morning sickness didn't allow for the pickles and ice cream. The "glow" was a wicked rash all over my body, and the bounce was my sciatic nerve bouncing from leg to leg, crippling me as I walked. My pregnancies didn't turn out the way I had planned either, but regardless of the craziness I was experiencing, two beautiful and healthy babies grew inside my belly for those 10 months. As the saying goes, the pain was worth the gain.



I love being a parent, but it is the hardest thing I have ever done. I had grand plans for the way things would happen and how I would raise my kids, i.e., no tv, processed foods, strict bedtimes well behaved ALL the time. The list could go on. My children have their moments of love. Like today, Marlee was sitting in my lap and out of the blue told me she was in my heart. I had her repeat what she said and asked what that meant. She told me she was in my heart because she loved me. It totally melted me. Cooper always thanks me when I fix his moo juice and excuses himself when he burps. On the flip side today, Marlee had a timeout with lots of screaming and crying, and Cooper deliberately poured sand out onto the patio. My plans for parenting may not be working out the way I hoped, but I love my children just the way they are and love them for the persons they will become.

So what I've realized in my 29 years is that I may have plans for the way life should unfold, but life doesn't always go as planned. I just need to breathe, count to 10, and be grateful for the wonderfulness that surrounds me.